Why doesn’t everyone just listen to me?! Seriously. I ask this question a lot. But, I also feel good in my body and I am passionate about sharing what has worked for me. As much as I hate to admit it, maybe some people don’t listen because they don’t need to. What they are doing is working for them, so then good choice! They should stick with what is working.
However, I come across a lot of people who are not happy and don’t feel good in their minds, bodies, and lives, and they also don’t seem to listen to anyone. Fear keeps them stuck and closed down. Change is really hard and it takes the willingness to open to new possibilities as well as the effort to actually do something different and out of our comfort zone.
First, we must be brave enough to admit that what we are doing is not working for us. It is keeping us stuck and not moving us toward the life we want to live or the person we want to be. We have to get really honest with ourselves and evaluate if we are on the path we want to be on or if we are going to look back years from now and wish we had done something different. This could pertain to all areas of our lives- our health, our relationships, our livelihood, etc.
Once we see that what we are doing is no longer working- although it may have worked for us at one time- it is important to identify WHY we want to change. The why will help us to stick with it when the going gets tough. The why will remind us of our goals and who we want to be. The why will carry us through when we doubt ourselves and why we started this whole changing thing to begin with. And your why may sound something like, “I am tired of being tired” or “I deserve to do something I love” or “I want to feel better in my body” or “I miss doing the things I love to do”, etc.
Next, we must be open to exploring options outside of what we have been doing. Maybe this means talking to friends about what they do, talking to a professional, or reading a book. This is where we begin to open our hearts and our minds up to trying something new. And to learn about new ways of doing things, we must listen to someone who is doing the different things. Even if it’s not me you are going to listen to…(I guess).
We must also recognize that the first different thing we try may not work for us at all. Or it may work a little, but not have life changing effects immediately. We can’t give up at this point. We revisit our why and keep trying. Remember, we most likely didn’t get to where we are in one day, so it will take some time to get to a new and better place. Aaaand we don’t have to put pressure on ourselves to make all of the changes at one time. Taking small steps toward how we want to feel and remembering why as we feel overwhelmed or frustrated will get us to the next one thing to do. Also, taking time frequently to look back at how far we have come is super helpful. Even if we just started working toward the change a few days ago, we are further toward our change than we were a few days ago. It’s ok to celebrate that!
Finally, we mustn’t try to do it alone. Asking for help along the way and identifying someone who has done it before can be a key factor in success. Ask them how they did it. Join a group of people who are on the same journey, find an accountability partner, approach a mentor or coach for the journey. Working toward change in a group of people who are also on the same path increases chances of success multiple times over. Maybe joining a group is one of the new things we might be trying. Be brave because that can serve as the springboard, propelling us into the person we are working so hard to be.
Life is not meant to be lived in fear or apathy or misery. Life is to be molded into what you want it to be, but we can’t expect to know how to do that on our own. There is no guidebook on how to be a human, but we can share experiences with each other for support along the way. There is no shame in asking someone else how they got where they are. In fact, this is what many successful people will tell you they have done!
Change is scary and we don’t know what to expect when we step out of our comfort zone, but we have to start to trust enough to try something new. Maybe we try it and it doesn’t work for us…but maybe it does!
Reach out, stretch yourself, and try something new so that you can start moving closer to that next best version of yourself.
You know I am right here trying with you.
Talk again soon,
One thought on “When life is hard you have to change”
What a wonderful reminder that we are not alone on the journey of change, growth, and dreams! Thanks so much for the encouraging words. Sometimes life seems scary, but we are not alone as long as we can be brave enough to take the steps and ask for help along the way.
Thanks so much,