As humans, we are wired for connection. We cannot survive infancy without the care of others and in adulthood we cannot thrive emotionally, physically, spiritually, or intellectually without the support of others. Humans are inextricably linked to each other in that way. We truly need each other.
Connection calms our nervous system and helps us to feel safe. It is one of the most effective ways to help us reach goals, increase health, and enjoy our lives.
Brené Brown defines connection as: the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.
If we feel that we don’t even know how to connect with others, have hope. Connection is possible if we know how to lean into it.
Did you know that connecting to a group can make us feel happier and it can support our ability to show up as our authentic selves? However, there are a few things of which to be mindful. First, to experience true connection, we want to find a group where we belong rather than a group to attempt to fit into. Belonging comes from showing up as our authentic selves and being a part of the group in that way. Fitting in happens when we attempt to change ourselves to be a part of a group and fitting in actually works against our feeling connected.
Next, we want to surround ourselves with people who are going in the direction that we want to go/grow in. If we have plans to make changes in the patterns we are in- mentally, emotionally, behaviorally- it is very important to surround ourselves with people who are on the same path and doing what we want to do.
We must assess the groups that we are currently a part of. Humans are very adaptable and we are known for adapting to whatever group we are most frequently around. This may be a factor in keeping us stuck or hurting our efforts to change.
Benjamin Hardy tells us that, “Most people are a direct reflection of those around them. If the people around them have lower standards, they drop theirs’ as well. If the people around them have higher standards, they raise their game.” This means that our talent is not going to help us if we are surrounded by people who are not holding us to a higher standard.
When we take the time to seek out others who are moving in the direction we want to move in or are doing the things that we want to be able to do, we can increase our chances of reaching our goals, feeling our best, and successfully upleveling our lives.
This week, I invite you to look at the groups you are a part of and to seek out groups that you are interested in being a part of. Seek out a mentor or an accountability partner to connect with as you are working toward who you want to be. And step into these relationships as your authentic self to experience true connection and belonging.
Feel free to reach out to me if you would like to have a conversation about what that might look like for you or where to begin.
Chat again soon,
k