What is holding you back? What are you allowing to limit you? Sometimes we make up stories in our heads that keep us quiet and doubting ourselves. At the moment of deciding to put ourselves out there or not, we are most susceptible to believing stories that limit us. When we choose not to share our ideas, not to put our work out in the world, or not to live in support of our authentic selves, we also fall out of alignment with who we truly are.
So, what is keeping you small? Some of the common culprits are expectations, comparison and judgment, and they all feed into fear.
We shape our behaviors, decisions, and lives around the stories in our heads. And those stories may have been planted there by other people throughout our lifetime. We may be believing someone else’s opinion about ourselves and our ability to contribute uniquely to the world. Because of this, there must come a time when we are brave enough to question the validity of the story and reorient ourselves if needed. We are the authors of our story and when we realize that, we can free ourselves up to live the life that we long for.
We may be living a life based on what we believe we “should” be doing rather than what we are passionate about. We may be attempting to fulfill the expectations of others which is draining and frustrating as we are living someone else’s life. In order to feel fulfilled, we must show up and stand up for what we believe in and who we authentically are. Even if it means going against what is expected by people we know, society, or the critic in our heads. Doing what we think we “should” be doing rather than what we are deeply passionate about contributes to feeling depressed, empty, confused, and hopeless.
Many times, we may start off on our own path, feel good about what we are doing or creating, and then compare our work to that of others. This is often where everything falls apart. As we fall into the trap of comparision, we can find ourselves lacking in some way and begin to doubt that what we have to offer is “good enough”. We pull back, change direction, or decide not to put ourselves out there at all. Comparison can kill creativity and we must remember that what we have to offer is rare and special because it is our authentic contribution to the world created out of our own unique style.
We may also hold back on making ourselves and our ideas known out of fear of judgment. We may predict how others will see our work, assume we know what others will think, and then limit ourselves based on those assumptions. Yes, those assumptions can even be based on past experience, but that does not mean that our future will bring the same. Also, in our current culture of social media, people do often more openly judge others from the safety of their electronic device. But, this, so frequently, is their poor attempt at feeling better about themselves and it really has nothing to do with us. Those who seek out things to criticize and judge in others are battling their own fear of being judged.
So, will you allow fear to hold you back? If so, you may never experience the deep satisfaction of living the life you want as who you authentically are. You may miss out on connection and belonging, and instead live your life attempting to fit in. This is no way to spend your days. Be vulnerable. Be brave. Now is your chance. Find your support section and walk into that arena standing up for yourself and what you believe in. Live your life. It’s hard and it’s scary, but it’s worth it.
Give it a try just for today. And then tomorrow, try again.
I will be putting myself out there right along with you.
Chat again soon,
k